new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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