it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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