ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Randomize
