the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
