the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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