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I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
