I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
