I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
