She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
