dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
