I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
