Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How's work?
Spinning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
