My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
