Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
