dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
