you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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