how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
