I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
