I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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