PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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