is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
