the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
