maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
