i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
