What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I love having hate sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
