Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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