isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
