break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
