Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You are a genius and a whore.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
