found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
