Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
