it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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