Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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