What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
