Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
