Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
