But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
