yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
