I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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