I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
