I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
