Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
