she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
