I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
