I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
