he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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