you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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