I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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