only if we run a train.
done.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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