were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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