Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
