Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry everything87 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.

Fav 80 1157 6148
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.

Fav 17 1096 2599
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

Fav 2 2290 941
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.

Fav 7 3311 1754
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

yeah you don't forget that shit easily

(651): View more from Minnesota

We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

Fav 11 5023 1065
share tweet
(707): View more from California

After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.

Fav 10 829 1321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.

Fav 16 1943 828
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.

Fav 1 62 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed

Fav 0 31 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT