Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
